Analogikal

I have an IQ of 140+. If i gave the test i’d qualify for Mensa, which i would have had their email ids been functional. I take pride in being smart. To a very obnoxious and annoying level. I had been believing that i am not just smart but i’m street smart as well. In a competition of wits i would come up on top. Or so i believed. 

I also believe i’m a Jedi knight. I feel i’m fully aware of the force and am aware of all my surroundings. I am in control of all actions around me and also the fact that i am aware of an impending action from a counterpart. Well, so i thought. 

I had just finished a couple of important tasks at the office and was feeling quite schmuck about it as always. I’m about to step out of office to embark on a journey to Mysore. To train college professors so that they can train the students in building a more responsible and capable world.  Something i always look forward to. I was more buoyant than usual. Just before i step out of office i get a call from a headhunter. Well a random recruiter actually. But headhunter sounds exotic and kinda exciting. I love getting calls from recruiters. It’s like getting hit on by random girls when you are in a satisfied relationship. A nice ego massage.

So my smart schmuck self was having a field day. My ego had broadened the horizons and was brimming out of self actualisation. Just as i stepped on to the road in the simmering heat, i noticed that there were a bunch of hijdas(transgenders, hingdas.  i’m not sure how to put it in words that are politically correct) who had surrounded a poor chap and was extorting money out of him. I thought to myself why not just pay and run along. But i thought too soon as they immediately turned their attention to me and cornered me next. I decided to pay up and move along. Well usually it would be ok to say no and move along while getting felt up and abused at. But as i have mentioned i was on a high and i really wasn’t keen on coming down. 

So i decide to pay up. I pull out my black wallet and pay them 10 rupees ($0.17). And one of them saw the few notes in my wallet. I didn’t notice this. I was about to move on as this was the final part of the algorithm. Pay up and leave. I was so proud of myself that i had almost rushed away leaving my shadow behind. But alas! The algorithm was about to change.

One of them said “take out your wallet. I wanna give you my lucky coin”. 99 out of 100 times i would have said “No, thank you”. But i did not say that. I said “wow! That is so sweet!”. So i pulled out my wallet and opened it. Usually i have my fingers covering the currency notes when i have the wallet open. But no. This time i opened it like a rafflesia on bloom. Full and wide. You know. Like anybody would do when an unknown stranger would give you their lucky one rupee coin after they have extorted money out of you. 

The next i know they took all my currency notes out of my wallet. So i exclaimed “No. Please don’t.” And they said “listen we are putting it back and did some joga bonito with all my money above my head. All the while the thought it my head was “these people have a code  they wont steal. Would they?”. I could hear the ruffling sound of my notes above my head and multiple hands colliding above. I thought that was the sound of their sweet sweet blessing over my head. Well no! That was the sound of me being taken for a ride. They basically took the money quite literally from above my head. Well they did put the money back in my wallet. Well at least less than half of it. 

Moment of truth! Fight or flight?! I knew they had taken my money. They knew i knew they had taken my money. There were three of them. One had already ran away with the money. So there were two left. The word of Gabbar echoed in my head. Kitne aadmi thhe? (How many were they?) i can take them on i thought. I am big, quick and strong. But in that moment you know who you are. You know your priorities. I’m not a fighter. I value my health and inner peace over money. I’m an elephant. I’m an ostrich. 

They walked by me with my money. I did react. I told them “this money you stole, wont do you any good”. That’s all i did. But i do hope it does them well. I worked hard for it. I spend long nights. I sacrificed football games for that money. And if it helps them it was ok. Tyler’s words echoed in my head “you are not the contents of your wallet”. I fled from there.i would not have taken five steps. The guy at the auto service shop squirted a whole load of filthy water on me. I looked at him in rage. If looks could melt stuff he would have been a plastic doll in a blast furnace. But it didn’t matter. He smiled. I smiled back at him.

In that rush i hadn’t realised how much money i had lost. I sat down. I checked the contents of my wallet. The first thing to drop out was the one rupee coin. The same ‘lucky’ one rupee coin. They didn’t lie. They might have stolen from me. But they didn’t lie. I have had tons of exchanges with transgenders. I will not let one interaction affect my view about them. You will find rotten eggs in every batch. As the saying goes “there are assholes in every race, caste, creed and gender”. I had been fooled, outsmarted and outdone. No matter how much of a big fish you think you are there is always something bigger out there. Humility helps. Probably i am smart. But not smart enough. It would be best to assume the other person to have the upper hand in every interaction. I know the world will eat me up. I know the dangers out there. I should be afraid. 

But, i’m not. Because Yoda said. 

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Fear is the path to the dark side. And i’m a jedi. I wouldn’t have much to do on the dark side.