Analogikal

‘What do you mean by you like ostriches?!’. Exclaimed my friend. It was blasphemous to like ostriches. Her nostrils flaring and a sense of disbelief in her eyes. It seemed like she would cast a spell and put me to sleep with a poisonous apple. I could sense that i had committed a great sin. I felt like Brutus and this being in March had a very ides of March feel to the whole debacle. I mean how could i have a different opinion to the one that my friend had. In typical Floydian way it is supposed to be ‘i am you and what i see is me’ ergo we all have the same ideals and opinions. Well this is not an Orwellian animal farm and neither am i a sheep. I am an ostrich loving man who would defend my favourite bird.

She liked chicken and i liked ostriches. Well i love chicken. Mostly in a cooked form laying static bathing in barbecue sauce. I am digressing. My love for ostriches is as profound as my love for elephants. Ostriches are gentle, they are majestic, they can run like hell and they can quite literally kick the living bejeezus out of you. But mostly i love how they seemingly hide their head in the sand. Well they don’t!

I always felt connected to the ostrich. We both are tall. We both have long necks. We both can run fast. And to the others it seems as if we bury our head in the sand and ignore our problems. One metaphorically and the other literally. Well we don’t. It’s just a myth. The ostrich holds it’s head as low as possible till such time the danger is past. I do the same thing. I lie motionless and reactionless when faced with circumstances which i cannot control, which makes my parents and friends feel that i’m ignoring what’s happening around me and hiding from my problems. Well i’m not. I just like to let the danger pass.

So yeah. I like ostriches. My friend had a different opinion and it was important to her that i agreed with her. It felt as if our friendship hinged on me ditching team ostrich and joining team chicken. Although i am a chicken every now and then, i just cannot ditch the ostriches. She rambled on about how ostriches are scary and ugly and all. But that’s not true. Emus are scary. They are the Orcs of the bird world. Ostriches are like Gandalf. White, grey and magnificent.

Well it was not about the ostriches. It was about my opinion. It wasn’t the first time. Given below is a list of reactions to various opinions i have about things:

• You don’t drink? How can you not drink? Alcohol is like the nectar of a flower that god has fornicated with.
• You like rock music? What the deuce! Rock sounds like nuts and bolts in a grinder! Hip hop is amazing. Justin Bieber for president!
• You like the colour black?! That is so boring! Blue is awesome!
• You like colourful socks?! are you gay? (verbatim)

So from the colour of my socks to the choice of my music, pretty much everything has been ridiculed. Outcomes of lifestyle choices in a masculine society. Well it is criminal to have an opinion which is non-conforming with that of the peers! The number of insecure teens and tweens asking questions on quora about things that they love which do not meet the quality checks of their peers is just depressing. The next time i see someone ask “How does it feel to have an ugly gf/bf/spouse?” on Quora, (you can see the question here) i swear i’m gonna kill Santa Claus!

I am entitled to loving ostriches as much as you love chicken. Everyone is entitled to a different opinion. That’s what makes us so amazing. Humans co-existing with all their differences. Finding their ostriches and spending a lifetime in a finite existence. If everyone had the same opinion most of us would die alone. There would be world wars for the green m&m. I love you for all that you are. Your opinion matters. I might not agree. But i respect it nonetheless. It brings a phantasmagoria of love, emotions and joy to my life. I don’t want you to love Ostriches. I can respect the fact that you hate them. But just don’t try to change my love for them. I like ostriches! I love colorful socks! I enjoy a mocktail with an umbrella! I wear pink and I enjoy running away from a fight! Well that is who i am.